Q: Seattle has a mayoral candidate named Jan Drago. I am thinking of voting for her just based on her name or the chance that, when debating the city's proposed plastic bag tax/fee (which she is against), she will say "If it dies, it dies." Or should I read the voter pamphlet and make an informed decision? -- Dave S., Seattle, Wash.
SG: I received this e-mail before Jan Drago failed to make the final three for November's election, which raises the question, how could you not vote for Mayor Drago??? You know how many of us would kill to have a Mayor Drago so we could make "I can't get over the size of this mayoral candidate!' and "What started out as a joke of an election has turned into a disaster" jokes? The only way I wouldn't vote for a Mayor Drago is if her opponent filmed a commercial in which they climbed a 20,000-foot mountain in Russia wearing only a parka and running boots, then reached the top and screamed, "Draaaaa-gooooooooooooo! Draaaaaaaaaa-goooooooooooo!" Actually, I'd still vote for Mayor Drago. And you know why? Because I vote for me. I vote for me!!!!
(By the way, I just obliterated the record for most "Rocky IV" references crammed into a single paragraph. That was like the sports columnist's version of an unassisted triple play.)
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