I Hit the 7 Like John Daly Hits the 3

JOHN DALY FIRED A DOUBLE SNOWMAN TODAY. LET ME REPEAT. JOHN DALY SHOT AN 88 TODAY AT A PGA TOUR EVENT. ONE MORE TIME. JOHN DALY SHOT 16 OVER PAR TODAY AT THE BUICK OPEN. DID I MENTION THAT JOHN DALY SHOT A 51 ON THE FRONT 9? FIFTY-ONE ON 9 HOLES FOR A TWO TIME MAJOR CHAMPIONSHIP WINNER. NUFF SAID.

The Dos Does Not Approve Of TMZ

http://www.tmz.com/tmztv?mediaKey=ffb7a67f-9bec-417c-9895-a13ee9ccec9e&isShareURL=true

Watch this at about the 4 minute mark and see the disrespect they show to the Namesake of this Blog. I am livid piss. So upset. I am contemplating doing very bad things to this show and the fat shit that talks shit after The Wagon is on TV. FUCK TMZ. FUCK YOU TMZ. YOU SUCK BALL SACKS TMZ.

Long Live Chuck Hayes.

TMac Will Be Back!

http://www.myfoxhouston.com/dpp/sports/nba/090730_mcgrady_expects_return_elite_status

I don't know why, but I will always love Tracy McGrady while he is still under contract with the Rockets. Go Rocks. I really hope those are our alternate unis next year. Things are sweet!

It's finally Friday!

Well almost:



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Name This Guy

First to name this guy wins the right to be known as my favorite follower of AROTCW. I am so upset that this is who it is. Disappointed.

Rev Run's Daily word

I subscribe to Rev Run's Daily word and I highly suggest to my followers that you sign up. Most days they are very inspiring and make you think. I am going to start posting some of the ones that make a difference to me and maybe they will do the same to you. Today's message read:

Good Morning. Worry about character and not reputation. Character is what you are, while reputation is merely what people think you are.
God is Love,
Rev Run

Have a great day people.

The Number of National Championships The Noles Have in Football

A Word from the BPE

Death and Taxes. The wise Benjamin Franklin wrote in a letter to Jean-Baptiste Leroy in 1789 "In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes."

Franklin sure knew what he was talking about.

I get my very first "real" paycheck tomorrow and was able to view my paystub yesterday.

33% percent witheld in taxes of one form or another. 33%! Note that's my *average* tax burden on my first paycheck of the year. If that's my average witholding rate then my effective top marginal rate must be really high.

A big "eff you" to Obama and all the Democrats who want to increase that tax burden. A really big "eff you". With taxes like these, I'm losing my incentives to work, save, and invest.

Speaking of which, I better get back to work.

http://www.news-journalonline.com/NewsJournalOnline/Sports/Headlines/sptFOOT01073009.htm
Xavier Lee Dominating Arean League 2.....whatever that is.

Top 10 Favorite and Top 10 Least Favorite Current NBA Players

I would like to preface this post saying that I will have a ten part post describing the Dos Bomb's ten favorite and ten least favorite NBA Players. The criteria used is simply my criteria. I will give support as to why I don't like some players and why I like others, and I know most will not agree with my opinions. That is your right people. Please be advised that some of the greatest players in the game will be on my Top 10 Least Favorite List because afterall, this is my blog, and what I say in this forum is the law. We will begin the countdown with No. 10 Best Liked and No. 10 Least Liked. Let's get it started.



No. 10 Least Liked: Tim Duncan
I have to steal a line from the famous anchorman Ron Burgandy here: "I hate you Tim Duncan....but God Dammit do I respect you". I don't have any idea where else to start. Tim is easily one of my least favorite players in the game for one of my least favorite teams in the game. Don't be surprised to find a certain teammate or two of his on this list later on down the line. His game just doesn't suit my eye, but he is very effective. He will go down as one of the top 10 players of all time and he is also going down in my top 10 least favorite players. I really do have great respect for Tim Duncan and am absolutely in love with Coach Pop. Shot out to Poo Keeper by the way, although I know that deep down inside, in his heart, in his soul, he is a closet Rockets fan. I look forward to having a valiant fight for Texas next year against the Spurs.



No. 10 Best Liked: Ron Artest

Don't start freaking out Rocket Fans. I am no traitor. But, I have got to put Ron Ron in my top ten because I simply can't forget what he meant to me last year and the ride The Rockets took me on. Yes, it has come out that he was tardy a lot, even to game 7 against the eventual champion Lakers, and he also showed up only in his underwear, but think about it.......would we have done as well as we did without him? You can scream to me the statistics of him shooting the ball horribly in the playoffs and not very well in the regular season. You can tell me that he took shots at inopportune times, and yelled at our inexperienced team. You can tell me that he was a ball stopper. You can tell me that he lost his skill to defend perimeter players and lost a step offensively. All of these are valid points......to an extent. After hearing this from all of you my response would be short and sweet: he changed the attitude of our team. We were tough. We were never afraid. We played hard. And I believe a lot of this is owed to Ron Artest being a Rocket and I am confident it will carry over to this year even without him. That being said, Ron is easily the weirdest person of all time. The dude is flat out crazy. But, I would like to take this time to thank him for instilling the passion and dedication and fearlessness into My Rockets. I hope you ruin the Lakers next year Ron. Have fun with Hollyweird L.A. (thank you mystery contributer to AROTCW).



Check back soon for the number 9s.



6/3 = ?

I am Better Than My Brother at Everything

Above is a picture of me as Mike Tyson after knocking out Ali, Frazier, or Foreman- all three were all knocked out last night while being controlled by my brother, Ryan. Not only am I the better basketball player, golf player, bowling player, tennis player, cricket player, football player, diving player, swimming player, badminton player, soccer player, arrow shooting player, spelunking player, sheep herding player, exploring player, gold mining player, Rocket watching player, Rocket fanning player, blackjack player, slot machine player, high jumping player, sprinting player, discus throwing player, and every other type of player- I am also the better Fight Night player. Sorry bro, it's science. By the way, Fight Night is easily the greatest game I have ever played. Better than NCAA or Madden or Woods or any of that gay war game crap like Call of Duty or Faglo (Halo). Simply the best. I got to give EA Sports the shot out on this series. Round 3 was my favorite game until Round 4 game out. Last night was the first time I hooked up my PlayStation to the Internet and now I am afraid my life is history. I will be playing all day long now and this will cut into my sleep pattern. Oh well. Sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes, well, the bar, it eats you. I hope all of you have had a wonderful day. Everyone has AIDS.

Multiply 3 by 7 and then Subtract 19 and what do you have?

Three Mice

Three mice are sitting in a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse slams a shot of Scotch, pounds the shot glass to the bar, turns to the second mouse and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I get on it, lie on my back, and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, and then bench press it 100 times."

The second mouse orders up two shots of tequila. He grabs one in each paw, slams the shots, and pounds the glasses to the bar. He turns to the other mice and replies, "Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can and take it home. In the morning, I grind it up into a powder and put it in my coffee so I get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."

The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse. The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this bullshit. I gotta go home and fuck the cat."

Compliments of Joey Kieval

Who is worse at their respective jobs?

Both are quite possibly the worst of all time. Thank goodness Ms. Palmer is out of the NBA now. Hopefully Clutch the Fag will soon follow. Share your thoughts.....Can we please bring Turbo back? Don't get me wrong, I am not a fan of mascots but Turbo was 1 million times cooler than Clutch. Clutch is a loser. He's a teddy bear for crying out loud. He also attempted to throw me out of a Rockets game one time. Don't even get me started on Ms. Palmer.....

Tres minus Uno

I'd also like to send out a big welcome to Jams and his Thurber Nation pieces. Look forward to the future columns of my esteemed colleague. Good to have you on board the Chuck Wagon Jams.

Democrats and Zombies

When you're hot, you're hot

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The Thurber Nation - Favre Watch 2009

Okay, I have finally gotten around to making my highly anticipated debut on this blog. My column, The Thurber Nation, will take on the arduous task of trying to give the blog’s millions of readers an insight into my mind, which has been self-proclaimed as the greatest sports mind in Magnolia Springs, Alabama.

Alright then, the first issue I want to address while I have access to this pulpit is Brett Favre. I think I have a Michael Douglas in Falling Down-esq episode if I hear on more report from Ed Werder about some arbitrary deadline imposed by either Brett or the Vikings.

While I know that Brad Childress and John Madden would soil themselves if Favre was to quarterback the Vikings, I still cannot understand why the Vikings want to sign him. In the wake of what has seemed like the 3297832 day of “FAVRE WATCH 2009”, I have come up with three reasons why this move is a bad decision.

1. Favre single handedly murdered the Jets playoffs hopes last season. Don’t believe me? After helping the Jets beat an undefeated Titans team in week 12 to record a record of 8-3, Brett had a TD/INT ratio of 2-9 in the final five games of the season, which included losses to Denver, San Francisco, Seattle, and Miami. He was about as useful as a poopy-flavored lollypop when it came down to the business part of the season.

2. Until recently, Favre was about as popular as a Spencer from the Hills in Minnesota. I do not understand how the Vikings fans would embrace the most celebrated PACKERS quarterback of all-time. Putting this situation into perspective, Brett playing for the Vikings would be like a national championship coach in the SEC leaving his school and eventually ending up at a rival school inside the division. It is simply unforgivable. EDIT: Oh wait… I advise you to totally disregard that preceding statement. Please make up your own analogy. Sorry Coach Saban!

3. I have purely speculative hard circumstantial evidence that Brett Favre uses PEDs. Think about it, Favre suffered a severe dip in form during his mid-thirties, which is normal for a quarterback, only to have a near MVP season at the age of 37. Football players, like porn stars, are not supposed to be at the top of their profession at the age of 37. Couple that season with the fact that Favre has taken more abuse during his career than a red headed stepchild, you begin to realize that maybe somebody else was friends with Brian McNamee.

Anyways, I sincerely hope that this Brett Favre situation gets resolved soon. I don’t think Madden can handle the stress any longer. Until next time, stay classy…

THURBER

A Word from the BPE

Happy Saturday to all the internet denizens of AROCW.

I wanted to throw an interesting nugget out into the health care reform debate.

Approximately 15% of Americans lack health insurance. Of the non-Latinos in the 15% who are uninsured, 40% are smokers. The average pack of fags is $4.50 or so depending on the state, and the average smokers smokes 1.5 packs a day. This means that the average smoker spends $6.00 a day on average on smokes, or $180 a month.

You can purchase private health insurance for far less than $180 a month.

So basically, Obama wants to cover people who could afford private health insurance but choose instead to purchase tobacco.

Makes a lot of sense to me.

It's Friday

It is most certainly Friday and I am fucking tired to say the least. My co-worker Steve made me go to a place called Langford Grocery. It was dirty. Floor was slanted. Had no A/C. Once again, it was dirty, really dirty. They also had their soft drinks in cans that pisses me off. I was furious but held inside my pissed offness in the presence of Steve, because, after all, he wanted to eat at this establishment. I was nervous because all they had was burgers, and to be honest, I had my mind set on a chicken fried steak or chicken fried chicken. I ended up ordering a Bacon Cheese Burger. WOW. Probably the best bacon I have ever had. Wade- you would agree. I once saw Bigg Dogg Wade eat a full package of bacon in one sitting. The burger was very tasty and the fries were not bad. Overall, great meal, just bad dining experience. Thanks Steve for making me go there. I enjoyed it. Now, I want to go home and sleep until Sunday. All my friends have left town and I am all alone. Looks like it's going to be a lot of Grant and Dos time- which isn't so bad. The guy is actually pretty cool. Everyone have a safe weekend. God Bless.


3 minus 1 = DOS

A Word from the BPE

Today the federal minimum wage increases from $6.55 and hour to $7.25 an hour. This is a far cry from the $4.25 I used to make at Baskin Robbins, but I digress.

The timing of the enactment of this legislation is incredibly poorly timed, and is likely to hurt the very people it purports to help.

Let us take a step back and ask a very simple question. Why are there minmum wage laws in the first place? Introducing price floors into otherwise competitive markets violates the principles of efficiency and fairness outlined in any Econ 101 course. If you mandate wages above the market-clearing wage, then firms are going to cut back hiring and people are going to want to work more, leading to a reduction in employment and an increase in unemployment (the unemployed being those who want to work at the given wage but can't find work). The total consumer and producer surplus goes down, leaving the economy unequivocally worse off than before.

Of course, imposing a price floor that is below the market-clearing price is going to have no effect whatsoever. Given that very few working Americans earn at or near the federal minimum, it's likely that the only result from minimum wage legislation is the cost of promoting it in Congress. Indeed, in the state of Indiana, for example, only 64,000 of the 1.8 million employed persons earn the minimum (that's 3.5% if you're keeping score at home).

If we depart from the assumption of perfect competition (the economist's pipe-dream), there are market structures in which higher minimum wages will not depress employment, however. In particular, if firms have monopsony power (the firms are buyers and individuals are sellers in the labor market, a monopsony is the reverse situation of a monopoly, in which the buyer, not the seller, has market power). In a monopsony, workers are paid wages less than their marginal products, and imposing higher minimum wages can move the market closer to the competitive case, thereby increasing employment.

Nevertheless, what kinds of job typically pay at or near the minimum? Fast-food, low-end retail, and the like. There are lots of these jobs around (well, not as many today as a few years ago), and lots of product market competition in these industries, so it seems unlikely that firms would have monopsony power, the only market structure in which it might possibly make sense to legislate higher minimums.

So this all leads us to an empirical question: what are the employment effects of higher minimum wages? The evidence is mixed. Most of it suggests that the employment effects are mildly negative or zero, suggesting that there is little gain (but also little cost) from imposing higher minimums. This suggests that there is little efficiency loss from imposing higher minimums.

So why do I care? It's not all about efficiency. It's about fairness. Minimum wage laws are racist and discriminate against the poor, the young, and the uneducated. The only people who earn the minimum wage are teenagers, people with less than a high school education, or part time workers who are supplementing a family's primary source of income. Higher minimums are likely to hurt these people, as they are the ones whose jobs will first be cut when mandated minimums increase. These are precisely the people who cannot afford to lose jobs (and the on the work experience that comes with it).

In short, higher minimum wages likely benefit few and hurt some, and the hurt on the some (the minorities, the poor, and the uneducated) is likely far greater than the benefit for the few (those who might see small increases in their wages). It's just bad policy.

Top 5 Sly Stallone Movies

I would like to preface this post by saying it has been the most difficult list I have ever had to create. Sly has starred in numerous movies that would easily be tops in the careers for the likes of Marlon Brando, Johnny Depp, Matt Damon, Ben Aflack, Mike Myers, and Johnny Knoxville. Movies such as Drivin, Avenging Angelo, Antz, Cop Land, Daylight, Judge Dredd, Demolition Man, Cliffhanger, Tango & Cash and numerous Rocky and Rambo movies have to be left out of this top 5 list, but would undoubtedly be included in other actor's lists if they had starred in them. This just illustrates the greatness of Sly Stallone. Rocky IV ended the Cold War by the way. Here we go:

5. Cobra
Who doesn't get goosebumps when Lieutenant Marion 'Cobra' Cobretti arrives in his bad ass car at the supermarket to try to calm a potentially deadly situation at the start of this great movie? I know that every time I see this scene, I want to become an actor. "Go ahead. I don't shop here" is Cobra's response to the crazy man that threatens to blow up the supermarket. What a response. I mean seriously, what a response. You also can't overlook the fact that the movie also stars the once stunning Brigitte Nielson who also stars in Rocky IV and formally starred as Sly's wife. Brian Thompson, aka the Night Slasher, deserved an Oscar for his performance. He was SCARY! The hospital scene? The final scene fighting The Cobra? You have to be a bad ass to fight The Cobra. Overall, fantastic movie with an even better cast. Great Job on this one Sly!

4. Rocky
The beginning to the Rocky Saga enters our countdown at the No.4 spot. This movie actually won best picture- fantastic work Sly. Although this is probably Sly's greatest masterpiece in terms of the overall project, it can't get past the 4 spot because of the slow beginning. Although I love this movie with all my heart, it does take a while for this picture to grow some legs. Apollo Creed is one Master of Disaster in this film and continuously great all the way to his death in Rocky IV. What else can you say about Micky's performance other than to say he wasn't in the movie enough. Joe Spinell's performance as Tony Gazzo was remarkable. His dialogue with Rocky early on in Rocky II will be replayed here because II did not make our list.
Tony "How much did you clear from the last fight?"
Rocky "About 30 Grand"
Tony "How do you feel about investing in condominiums?"
Rocky "Condominiums?"
Tony "Yea, condominiums."
Rocky ".............I ain't never used 'em"

3. Rambo First Blood Part II
First Blood does not make our list even thought it is a better movie. Part II is fantastic though and is action packed for life. The lesson from this flick is that Rambo is in no way dispensable. He is a courageous Vet that takes on thousands of Russians and Vietnamese. Trautman is great as is Murdock. RIP Richard Crenna. Martin Kove, who also stars in the Karate Kid, is pretty stellar as well. Can we say enough about the arrows that blow up on impact? i mean Captain Vinh blows up from over 400 yards away because Rambo has that kind of skill. Capt. Vinh- you shouldn't have killed Co Bao- she was going to be a great American Wife. And, Rambo coming out of the mud wall was unforgettable and how he can grab a soldiers legs and drag him down a hole and make the soldier lose his voice is a fantastic showcase of his ability to act stealthy. The reason this movie makes its way to the 3 spot is the final 5 minutes- quite possible Stallone's best work. He returns only to shoot up the fake computers in the hanger that are "all for him". Then, he goes on to make Murdock pee his pants. Then, it happens. "What do you want", Trautman asks. The rest is history. HISTORY. I am not even going to write the dialogue because it demands that much respect. I will, however, say that Rambo answering "day-by-day" to the question of how he is going to live is extremely emotional. He proceeds to then walk into the distance. Great ending to a great picture. You need to see it for yourself. Rambo III and Rambo were also great. Rambo V is in production.

2. Rocky Balboa
The only reason is because of the villains name: Mason "The Line" Dixon. Enough Said.

1: Over the Top
Legend has it that I was in the theatre in 1987 as an infant watching Lincoln Hawk turn his hat around. Easily the single greatest arm wrestling movie of all time. Robert Loggia is fantastic as Hawk's Father-in-Law. Susan Blakely just brings the passion playing Hawks dying wife. Tremendously emotional scene when they arrive at the hospital only to find they are too late. David Mendenhall kills the role of Michael Cutler and later takes the name of his father, Hawk. Bob "Bull" Hurley, Smasher, John Grizzly, Big Boy, and Mad Dog Madison play the other Arm Wrestlers and do a fantastic job. The reason this film tops the list is because of the story behind it. Over the Top is probably the only movie that makes me cry time and time again. IT just has the IT factor. Just look at the theme of the movie: "Driving headlong towards the biggest fight of his life". FANTASTIC. Hawk is really down in the dumps and is a struggling trucker trying to rebuild his life. He fights to regain the love of his Son but struggles to fend off his father-in-law who thinks he is a horrible person. After seemingly losing his son for good, he sells his rig, BUT KEEPS THE HAWK! I am confident that the only way he could have beaten Bull Hurley was if he had asked the buyer of his truck if he could keep the Hawk. Also, he made the greatest gamble in History when he bet on himself to win. The movie just gets too emotional when his son escapes the prison of his Grandfather to make it all the way to Vegas to the Arm Wrestling Event. He even leaves his car to the guy at the airport! I really thought that they were going to have Hawk lose his last fight.........but, he didn't. He showed admirable heart and determination to right his life and get his son back. Quality stuff people. Great Work Sly!

I am sure there are those that disagree- feel free to comment. I left some all time classics out of this list but let me reiterate that this was the most difficult list to create ever. He is the greatest actor of our time people. I love you Sly. Thanks for the memories!

Heroes Get Remembered But Legends Never Die

It's better to fail in a cause that will ultimately succeed than to succeed in a cause that will ultimately fail.

Coach Bobby Bowden

Get Well YAO

Yao had successful surgery yesterday. I would like to thank the Doctors and wish Yao a healthy and speedy recovery and let him know that The Rocket Nation cannot wait to see him suit up in the Red and White in the future. The Time is Yao once again. On another note, be on the look out for the Top 5 Greatest Sly Stallone Movies Ever sometime soon. The BPE's blog yesterday got me thinking about the Greatest Actor Ever To Walk This Earth and I will be bloggin about him soon. Good Day.

http://www.nba.com/rockets/video/2009/07/21/chuck.hayes.interv.072109.rockets/index.html
Chuck Interview

One Plus One

Where does your money go?

I suspect that the majority of readers of this blog devote a much higher fraction of their yearly expenditures to booze than does that average American:

A word from the BPE

Today, I found myself embroiled in a heated debate with a senior colleague over a question of paramount importance: which is the better of the two training scenes in Rocky IV?

Before taking a stand either way, let me state the obvious: both scenes rule creation. I would go so far as to say that the seven minutes where Rocky trains in the Russian wilderness are the greatest contiguous seven minutes in all of cinematic history. I'm somewhat ambivalent about the 60 seconds in the middle where Adrian shows up and declares to her husband that she's with him "no matter what". On the one hand, I find the scene unnecessarily cheesy, and I also find myself wondering when Rocky had grown that full beard. On the other, the scene offers a welcome respite from the intensity of the three and a half minutes on either side.

I'm probably in the minority here, but I prefer the first of the two training scenes (the one without lyrics). Rocky rises with the sun and bears the elements throughout, all under the constant supervision of his "official chaperones". Rocky runs down a river (1:25 mark) while Drago runs on an indoor track. Rocky helps a neighbor with his carriage while Drago uses a machine (1:40 mark). Rocky lifts firewood while Drago lifts a state of the art barbell (2:00 mark). Rocky chops down a tree while Drago picks on a puny Russians in a ring (3:00 mark).

The second training scene is great as well, don't get me wrong, but it's just a little too over the top for my liking. I can't say that I'm a fan of Rocky's chia pet beard. Too much of it is in the barn and there aren't enough scenes where Rocky's out in the wilderness. The part where Drago pops the roids . . . over the top. Adrian constantly looking on and nodding approvingly . . . not necessary. Rocky sprinting to outpace the chaperones and them crashing into a snow embankment . . . get real. Running up to the top of a tall mountain and hearing Rocky's shout of Drago echo throughout . . . please. Hearts on Fire is awesome, but it doesn't have the natural beauty of the first musical set without lyrics.

Please chime in with a comment offering up your thoughts on this important topic!

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Golfers Will Understand This Story

It was a sunny morning, a little before 8:00 am, on the first Hole of a busy course, and I was beginning my pre-shot routine, visualizing my upcoming shot when a piercing voice came over the club house loud speaker, 'Would the gentleman on the woman's tee back up to the men's tee please!' I could feel every eye on the course looking at me. I was still deep in my routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption. Again the announcement, 'Would the man on the woman's tee kindly back up to the men's tee.' I simply ignored the guy and kept concentrating, when once more, the man yelled, 'Would the man on the woman's tee back up to the men's tee, please!' I finally stopped, turned, cupped my hands and shouted back 'Would the Ass hole with the microphone please be quiet and let me play my second shot.

Nowery Smith Sent that to me.

In other news, I am quite confident my tail bone is broken. Very long story. Ouch.

Dos's Weekend

Pretty Uneventful weekend other than Tom Watson almost shocking the world. Friday I got home from the office and was too fucking tired to do anything so I took a nap. I then went and had Dinner with the Senator and Mr. Stark as well as Chadley and his roommate. From there we went to my least favorite restaurant, Ciro's. Place sucks. Food is awful. I also wanted to kill the bar tender. I ordered a Tank n Tonic (gin, always gin) and she asked for my ID. I tried to pull a funny one like McLovin did in Superbad. I said "Makes me feel young again" and she replied "you do look young". I have never been carded in Las Vegas but I get carded at Ciro's. Pretty damn good chance I never go back; Sorry Eddie. After that event I then went to Vintage- not a huge fan. Anyway, after saying hi to my friends I took off and went home to sleep. I slept in until about 8:30 and then went and hit the white ball into the hole with the above mentioned dinner guests from Friday night. Senator Mundeeeeen observed on the 16th hole that someone turned the thermostat up. It was warm. Saturday night I went to dinner at Pappy's and thought the service was real good. After that, went home and fell asleep only to be woken up and force fed beer by the Stick. Felt crusty Sunday morning but had to get up to watch Tom. After Tom broke our hearts with his near victory I went and Played the white ball game again with Bigg Dogg Lytal and his father- one of my favorite people in the world. Holla Bigg James. Sunday night ate dinner with the fam and Ben Jams who is in town to try to get his messed up hip and foot fixed. That was my weekend. Violet Palmer is no longer a NBA Official thank goodness. Word to ya motha. Go to http://www.theshampushow.com/. He is my buddy from the HOB. His catch line is- The Ladies have Oprah and The View- now the men have Shampu. Word to ya motha a second go round. God Bless. It's also really weird that my brother had his one year married celebration day thingie this past weekend. Sucks that he couldn't watch golf. Moral of that story: don't get married and don't take shit. I love you Jill. BPE- Notre Dame doesn't win more than 6 games this year.

The Bomb That Hit Twice

Life Hurts but continues

I was fortunate enough to be allowed to post on this great blog thanks to my life long budy dos (who I recently beat on the back 9 at Lakeside). I hope everyone enjoys my horribly conservative and right wing views about sports and life and if not, go cry to the President, Im certain he is itching to get involved. There have been two recent sporting events that made me proud to be an American which is a feeling that I have not felt for some time. There is a parallel between life and sports and anyone who disagrees has probably spent their entire life behind a desk and not experienced much. I recently experience two gut churning moments while watching Andy Roddick lose at Wimbledon and Tom Watson lose at the British. Both were huge underdogs and both made the match and the round last much longer than it should have. Roddick took the best player of our generation into extra sets and Watson lasted all the way to a playoff. Here is what I respect about these two men. They had a goal and they gave everthing they had to achieve it with not regrets. They did not look for assistance and did not make excuses, they simply went out and performed to the best of their God given abilities. You know if Obama had his way (and here is my political discussion for this article) Roddick and Watson would have been "bailed out" and probably been given a couple of strokes because competition is slowing dying in our society. Both men had no one to look to (Watson had a Caddy but in the end its him versus the field) and only themselves to blame if something went wrong. I was proud of both of them for their success in reaching the point that allowed them to possibly win the championship and I am damn proud of how hard they fought for something they wanted. If everyone had the spirit of these two men instead of looking for someone to bail them out and making excuses as to why their life went to hell, we would be a much better and stronger society. I believe Lou Holtz put it best in his book I recently read "Wins, Losses and Lessons" were he wrote that today people are too worried about their rights and not their responsibilities. We are all endowed with a responsibility to do everything we can to succeed and if we fail to find another way. This age we live in is an age of entitlement. Screw what you think you are entitled to, go out and prove you deserve and if you are fortunate enough you may get what you seek. If not, shut up and find another way. Hope yall enjoyed.


B-Dub(W)

In Daryl Morey We Trust

I have seen numerous people use this saying, most recently in an article for Slam magazine. I would like it to be known that I INVENTED THIS PHRASE! That's all. Have a wonderful day fans of The Dos.

II

Thank You Tom Watson

Tom Watson turned back the clock last week starting on Thursday and going all the way to Sunday afternoon. I never get too emotional when something crazy happens in Sport to an athlete or team that I do not have a connection with. I've never been a Tom Watson fan. But, wow, he had me on his side this weekend. His play was magnificent. I admire the way he handled himself with such class and dignity. I have to say that I believe he was the BEST ball striker in the field. Beautiful swing with great balance and a follow through that the Dos Bomb admires. What a ride he took us on. I found myself having goosebumps when he birdied 17 and found the center of the fairway on 18. He said he hit the perfect 8 iron into the green on the 72nd hole and it just bounced a little too far. Anyway, he ended up not being able to beat Cink in the playoff and I really felt like someone punched me in the stomach. It was a depressing moment. I felt so bad for the man that had turned back the clock and had the Jug in his grasp only to lose it on the last hole. It really irritates me when people don't think this was a great story. I maintain that IF Tom Watson would have won the Open Championship it would have been the most meaningful and special moment that had taken place in Sport since I have been walking the Earth. When someone writes that him losing was good for golf, because if he had won it would have illustrated how weak the golfers are today thus diminishing Tiger Wood's game and his accomplishments, I get irate. It had nothing to do with other golfers not being as good; it had everything to do with how well Tom Watson played. The Open Championship is the tournament that a shorter hitter or older player can prevail in because the tournament is so much more about placement and knowing the shots to hit rather than just pure skill. Tom Watson had what it took....he just ran out of steam on the last hole. Tom- I'm a fan now. The way you handled yourself after the round was incredible. I'm forever a Watson believer and supporter after this performance. The look on your face walking up 18 in the playoff showed me something- that you hate to lose more than you love to win, and that is what it's all about. Thanks for the ride you took us all on this weekend at Turnberry and I will be watching and pulling for you this week at the Senior Open Championship. Shot out to my boy Chuck Wagon as well.

Dos Magnificent

Snapping turtles and evening commutes

(Story taken from the BackRoom at NDNation)

On my way home from work yesterday, I had to stop my car on a woodsy back road because a woman had parked in the opposite lane and was trying to pick up an animal in the middle of my lane. I got out of the car and saw that it was a large snapping turtle--shell about 16 inches long and 12 inches wide, head the size of my fist. She kept trying to grab it and it kept snapping violently at her.

I encouraged her to cease attempting to pick the animal up, at which point she said, "We have to pick it up!" I responded that I would gladly take a large stick and usher it to the side of the road, but that I would refrain from handling it. "But I think it's hurt!" she cried. I inspected the turtle and the shell seemed intact. There was no visible blood or wounds on the turtle's legs/head. I asked her why she thought the turtle was hurt. She responded:

"Because it's moving slowly and erratically!"

Before my internal filter could kick in, I answered, "That's because it's a fucking turtle, ma'am."

It went downhill from there. She said she was going to take it to a shelter (a turtle shelter?). I didn't argue, as traffic was backing up behind our cars and I wanted to get out of this situation before that thing latched onto one of us or took off a finger. She said, "I'll go open my door. You pick it up and bring it over to my car." I demurred with the comment, "No way, lady. If you're hell-bent on taking this unharmed turtle to the humane society, YOU pick it up and I'LL open your door."

She finally grabs this thing toward the back of the shell and hustles it over toward the car. She's holding it out in front of her so that the head's pointing toward the car and it's hissing and snapping and generally going as crazy as a turtle can go. She instructs me to open up the back door of her car as her trunk is full, and I do so. She runs up to the car and points the business end of the turtle into the back seat. This is when her two daughters, seated in the rear seat of the car, see the turtle and begin screaming and pressing themselves up against the other side of the car like they're undergoing a high-G turn. It was alternately startling and darkly humorous.

The mother instructed her kids to head for the front seat and then proceeded to deposit the turtle on the floorboards in the back seat. Before she does so, the turtle lets its bladder go with a whoosh all over her cloth back seat. Turtle urine smells really, really bad--can't wait for that to dry out in the DC heat. The last thing I saw as I closed the door is the turtle ambling under the front seat toward the driver's feet, but the woman sped off before I could warn her.

Surreal.

Big Yeast

I'd like to start this blog by stating that I will never in my life succumb to the pressures of becoming a Mavs fan. Shout out to the Rocks and our newest arrival, Ariza.

It's an honor to have a guest spot here on "A Ride on the Chuck Wagon." Word up to Skittle and BPE. For those of you that don't know me, I am Big Yeast. I just recently moved from Houston to Dallas, so I will be giving this blog a more "North Texas" perspective. And by that, I mean I will mostly be blogging about rap music and discussing other important issues, such as what I did over the weekend and other significant events that are happening in my life.

To start, I bought an iPhone yesterday. The thing is sick...the AT&T network is going to revolutionize my life. I paid the $200 to default on my contract and told T-Mobile to suck it. Never get a phone with T-Mobile and especially don't go to the store on Lemmonn Ave. in Dallas...they like to accuse people of breaking already shitty, broken phones. But who cares...I'm rollin' 3G now bitches. Hit me up on Loopt.

On that same note, Pandora radio is also revolutionizing my life. I become more and more impressed with the "Music Genome Project" every day. And now that I can stream Pandora on my iPhone, it's game over.

Here is a list of some of the best rap CD's ever made, in no certain order:

1. Est. 1999 - Bone Thugs

2. Illmatic - Nas

3. Ready to Die - Biggie

4. All Eyez on Me - Tupac

5. Doggystyle - Snoop Dogg

6. Get Rich or Die Tryin' - 50 Cent

7. The Chronic 2001 - Dr. Dre

8. Out of Color - Iced Out Eskimoz

9. Vol 2...Hard Knock Life - Jay-Z

10. Licensed to Ill - Beastie Boys

11. Let the Truth Be Told - Z-Ro

I love rap music. I grew up listening to Tupac and West Coast rap exclusively, but have, within the past 3 years or so, broadened my horizons drastically after taking about a year-long hiatus from the game. Artists like Soulja Boy and the GS Boyz are a black-eye on the industry. The "Stanky Leg," really? To quote Ice T: “We came all the way from Rakim, we came all the way from Das EFX, we came all the way from motherfuckers flowing like Big Daddy Kane and Ice Cube, and you come with that Superman shit? That shit is garbage.”

The funny thing about all of this is that their records sell. Soulja Boy went Platinum! That's one million records sold! Is it really that easy to make money these days?

When I think of all-time worst rap, I think of songs like "This Is Why I'm Hot." Here's the chorus:

This is why I'm hot

This is why

This is why

This is why I'm hot

This is why I'm hot

This is why

This is why I'm hot

I'm hot cause I'm fly

You ain't cause you're not

This is why

This is why

This is why I'm hot

Here's Dr. Seuss:

I am Sam

I am Sam

Sam I am

That Sam-I-am!

Than Sam-I-am!

I do not like

that Sam-I-am!

Do you like

green eggs and ham?

By today's standards, Seuss was a straight thug. "This Is Why I'm Hot" is another certified Platinum single. I think I may drop out of the oil/gas game and start rapping children's books to catchy beats.

That being said, Notorious BIG is a saint. Although you really can't compare his style with Pac's, he is starting to take over the #1 spot in my book. Songs like "Unbelievable" make the world go round. It's a shame they both aren't still around to make great music. Lil Wayne is also sick, but I don't think he's the savior that the entire state of Louisiana thinks he is. Anything is better than the Stanky Leg, though.

The last thing I will adress is how much I hate Major League Baseball. This is obviously the worst time of the year for sports because it is the only thing on TV. They are trying to figure out where Lebron would go in the NFL draft for God's sake...things are pretty slow I'd say. My hate for the MLB all stems from the commissioner, Bud Selig.

You see, baseball was all but dead after the umpire strike in 1994. Then, in 1998, the sport was revived after the Mark McGuire/Sammy Sosa homerun race. Now, the sport is back on the down-slope after Jose Canseco and the Mitchell Report destroyed any credibility the sport had. The best, most valuable players in the league are getting suspended for almost 1/4 of the season for taking fertility drugs! Bud Selig can suck it. Talk about hypocrisy. He is punishing players for "abusing" the very thing that saved his ass and his league in the first place. No shit homerun records were broken...McGuire, Sosa, and Bonds aren't real human beings. I guess no one noticed that McGuire was a 35-year-old man that could hit 70 homeruns in a season, all with a case of terrible acne. Ken Griffey, Jr. and Lance Berkman are my heroes.

That's all I got. Keep it real.

Yeast

Government forms and waste

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/packages/pdf/nyregion/2009/records/paperworkreductionreportbycrs.pdf



Americans spend about 10 BILLION hours a year filling out paperwork. 10 BILLION! Nearly 80% of the total "burden hours" come from the IRS.

The figure presented in this document is that it costs Americans roughly $400 billion a year to fill out these forms.

It just makes too much sense to cut down on this paperwork. Which means neither political party will ever do it.

God Bless America.

Ranking Houston area Golfing Fields

In my time as a denizen of the greatest town in the South, I was afforded the opportunity to play at a number of fine Houston area golf courses. Here are some rankings of a few courses which come to mind. Please feel free to leave comments and offer up your thoughts as well!

(8) Bear Creek Presidents Course. I always kind of liked this track. No frills golf as they might say across the pond. What you see is what you get -- flat fairways, flat greens, the occasional miscreant sneeking out onto the course near the "camp grounds" and snatching your ball.

(7) Bear Creek Masters Course. If one ventures on over to Bear Creek's website, the first sentence declares "The best thing about Bear Creek is that it opened." I'm not sure I'd go that far. I've long felt that the Masters Course -- once described as a "unique experience" by the prole manning the cash register in that sorry compound they call a clubhouse -- is perhaps the most overrated of all courses in these United States, except for maybe the University of Meatchicken golf course, because Michigan sucks. I did drain a 60 footer on the 18th hole my senior year for St. John's to claim the SPC championship, so I can't totally bash on the place. All I really can remember is that I can't remember the course well, save for the little par 3 running parallel to highway 6.

(6) Herman Park. Fore in the monkey house. Chocolate Hills. Playing at Herman Park really brings you back to another era. Domed greens. Cement in the fairways. The little train going around with little boys and girls there to see the animals at the zoo. Fun times.

(5) Jersey Village. I especially liked the Blue Course at Jersey Village, which opened with a 400 yard par 5. That might be the only par 5 in Houston that I can consistently reach from anything beyond the ladies tees. Always in pretty decent shape, and some interesting holes.

(4) Pinecrest Golf Club. Also known in some corners as "Gessner Country Club". Once, as I pulled into the fabled white stucco clubhouse at venerable Pinecrest, a mustached gentleman with coaches shorts on told me "Best greens in the city". Not sure I would go that far, but I do suspect that Pinecrest leads the city in consumption of Natural Light and imitation Marlboros. I shot a fabled 69 there once, and it's Stark's home track, so you gotta give it some respect.

(3) Westwood Country Club. Once the playing grounds for those demographic groups shunned by the city's elite clubs, Westwood is now open to all -- they even let Danny and Richard Nystrom in. A fine track, really. I particularly liked the second and third holes, and also enjoyed the short-ish par four near the end of the front nine (maybe it's 9 or 8) that I once could almost drive when I still had some flexibility in me.

(2) Lakeside Country Club. Upon returning from the recording break Masters Tournament in 1997, I proudly declared "Lakeside is a better course." After the renovations a couple of years ago I'm even more inclined to think so. Aside from the first hole, which is one of the worst opening holes in the history of golf, Lakeside has 17 lovely holes set in bucolic rolling terrain. The fourth hole, with its psuedo island green, is routinely voted as one of the prettiest holes in the Americas. The fourth hole is also home of Dos's famed hole in one -- the shot heard round Memorial -- from a year and a half ago. The 18th is a reachable par five (if you can hit your tee ball further than 230), and was sight of Dos's triumphant victory over Ryan a couple of weeks back.

(1) Lochinvar Golf Club. One has the feeling of being on a first date with a real hottie as one pulls up to the non-descript guard post and, with butterflies in one's stomach, calls the club house. "Lochinvar Golf Club, this is Randy" booms the voice from the other end. After one announces one's familial relationship with the President and CEO of Genesis Energy, the gate opens and one drives down a road not dissimilar from Magnolia Lane. I once read in a golf magazie about Lochinvar that it "looks like Augusta." Well, maybe, except for the fact that there is maybe six inches of elevation change throughout the course. My favorite hole is #3, and I once fired a 68 on these hallowed golfing grounds.

The Heart of a Champion

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The Kiss of Death

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A word from the BPE

The lead articles today in the two daily papers I take concern tax policy, one at the local level and one at the federal level.

The South Bend Tribune reports that St. Joseph County (in which South Bend, Notre Dame, Granger, and Mishawaka are located) has increased its income tax by 0.95 percentage points. This means that an individual with $50,000 in a taxable income will see his annual tax bill increase by $475, which is no small amount in these “turbulent economic times” in which we live.

Increasing taxes during a recession violates the cardinal principles of fiscal policy from Econ 101, but is the frequent outcome of the political process in local jurisdictions, where there is often strong pressure (if not a legal mandate) to continually balance the budget. St. Joseph county already has an unemployment rate of 11%, which exceeds the national rate (9.7%) by a wide margin. Taking hundreds of dollars out of the pockets of middle class families is likely to result in lower spending (particularly on things like meals out, etc.). Lower spending equals fewer jobs, which entails less tax revenue, eating away at the revenue gains from the tax increase. We’d be much better served if local authorities would allow the budget to temporarily dip into the red while finding ways to curtail unnecessary and wasteful spending.

At the federal level, the Wall Street Journal provides details on the new health bill that just passed the Democrat controlled House of Representatives. Particularly bothersome to me is the provision that imposes a penalty on business for not providing health insurance to their workers. In particular, businesses with total payrolls in excess of $400,000 would pay an 8% penalty if they do not purchase insurance for their employees. $400,000 is an extremely low cutoff – basically any business with more than a handful of workers is likely to have a payroll in excess of $400,000.

The 8% penalty is not likely to be binding for very large companies, who most likely already provide health insurance. Whom it hurts is small and medium-sized businesses, who comprise the vast majority of total businesses in this country. Companies with only a handful of workers pay higher insurance premiums than do large companies – fewer people in the plan means you’re not pooling as much risk, which means higher premiums. Under this new legislation, small business will effectively be damned if they do and damned if they don’t when it comes to providing health insurance.

Welcome

The Dos would like to welcome David Andersen to the Rocket Nation.

Random Thoughts......

Heather Dinich is so bad. ESPN, as a matter of fact, is horrible when it comes to College Football. She has ranked Thaddeus Lewis as the No. 2 QB in the ACC. Let me explain- Thaddeus Lewis plays for Duke. I am convinced that she compiled this list by picking names out of a hat. The analysis is horrible. Every "blog" she has is horrible. She has no facts. She doesn't know anything. She hates Florida State and Bobby Bowden. So, I hate her. Heather: you suck.

I am tired.

I hate ESPN College Football.

I think ESPN is really bad in its College Football Coverage.

Jeff Van Gundy.

Ben Jams Thurber works at Camp Rio Vista.

Poo Keeper has 3 girl friends.

Sometimes I dream that I work at a Kroger in Norman, Oklahoma.

I ate James Coney Island today. Not sure there is a better meal available out there.

I have put on 10 pounds since I started work.

Chris Chapman is a donk.

I have 10 toes.

I have aspirations to win a Nobel Prize.

Good day people.

Rocket Dos

Clutch the Bear tried to throw me out of a Rockets game one time. No Joke.

Why won't Tiger's round be on at 3 AM tomorrow morning? I don't understand why coverage doesn't start when he tees off.

Greg Norman will win. It's Science.

Anchorman is a good movie.

A Word from The BPE

I thought I would add to the intellectual climate of this corner of the world wide web with a few thoughts on a disturbing comment from liberal Senator Barbara Boxer concerning the confirmation hearing of Sonya Sotomayor.

Sen. Boxer said in a conference call yesterday that judges “should bring every human feeling . . . including empathy” to their public lives. The dictionary defines empathy as follows: “the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.” Empathy in the courts? Whatever happened to justice being blind?

The role of the judiciary in a constitutional republic is that of umpire – to determine whether laws are consistent with a minimum and difficult to alter set of principles which are codified in the constitution. The Supreme Court does not exist to create law – that is the role of the legislative branch – but rather to determine whether legislated laws are consistent with the constitution. Empathy does not enter anywhere into that role. Either a law or regulation is consistent with the principles laid out in the constitution or it’s not.

Empathy should be left to the legislature. It has no role on the bench. Sotomayor’s personal story, however compelling it may or may not be, does not qualify her for a position on the nation’s highest court. Her legal knowledge and history as a judge at interpreting the law is all that should matter.

Comments such as these from Senator Boxer are disturbing. It is even more disturbing that our president evidently adheres to a similar philosophy as pertains the law and the role of justices in interpreting it.

Bow Down to The BPE

Word to ya Motha

So...........Magic match the Mavericks offer for Gortat.............he is now getting $35 Million to play 12 minutes a game............Can anyone else see a possible deal between the Rockets and Magic now? Note to Morey: please do not trade The Wagon.

Weeds- its over for me. Last night was another typical episode. The whole episode stunk like The Yo on Ezra and then they throw a curve ball right at the end. Typical. It's over for the Dos. No more weeds. I had to tvo the season finale of Run's House- the best show on tv- as well as Nurse Jackie. Expect updates soon on those two shows.

Entourage Premier- thought it was fantastic. I had been thinking that Entourage was going through what Weeds currently is during Season 4 and the Medellin tragedy. But, to my surprise, it has bounced back. Sloan coming back on the show- solid- Ari being Ari- solid- Turtle hooking up with Meadow Soprano- REAL SOLID- I just really like the direction of the show. The last scene with Vince sitting in his house with no one else around was a very solid scene and has me excited for the future.

Look out for a few guest posters on my blog to make sure it is constantly updated. My rapping partner in crime-The Infamous Big Yeast- previously known as The Yeast Infection- will be posting about the current state of the rap game from time to time. The Bigg Dogg- aka Wade Lytal- will be giving a weekly column on football. The BPE may also stop by to share his crazyweird thoughts as well. Just get ready for some real exciting crap. Greg Norman: 2009 Champion Golfer of the Year? God, I hope so. I love you all.

Dos Dogg

Sorry People

To all my loyal followers-

I apologize for my carelessness in keeping you informed with updates on the most interesting man in Houston. Look for an opinion on last night's season premier of Entourage.

I am also pleased to inform my fans that I will be taking on my brother again in golf. He is so delusional and stupid. He doesn't realize that if you lose, you aren't as good as who you lose to. Ryan- you are going down brotha. I just bought 2 new wedges. Stop believing fallacies.

Shot out to the BPE. He is the man.

Go Rockets. Gotta love Ariza at his Bday in Vegas. He invited me to go but I couldn't. Sorry Trev. I'll be there next year.

Chuck- if you ever come across this please call me at 713 582 7779. I promise I am not a stalker- I just want to have my away jersey retired and your signature on it. You are the man.

A Good Read: http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2009/07/10/the_case_for_doing_nothing_97382.html

Everything Happens for ARIZAson

http://www.nba.com/video/channels/nba_tv/2009/07/08/nba_20090708_artest_presser.nba/
Trevor Ariza's Presser.

Ron Artest is wearing No.37 for the Lakers in honor of the King of Pop. Michael's hit Thriller was No.1 for 37 weeks. Have fun Laker fans with this crazy, crazy, crazy man.

My father admitted this weekend that he dropped me on my head when I was 2 months old while he was drunk. This explains a lot.