The Thurber Nation - Favre Watch 2009

Okay, I have finally gotten around to making my highly anticipated debut on this blog. My column, The Thurber Nation, will take on the arduous task of trying to give the blog’s millions of readers an insight into my mind, which has been self-proclaimed as the greatest sports mind in Magnolia Springs, Alabama.

Alright then, the first issue I want to address while I have access to this pulpit is Brett Favre. I think I have a Michael Douglas in Falling Down-esq episode if I hear on more report from Ed Werder about some arbitrary deadline imposed by either Brett or the Vikings.

While I know that Brad Childress and John Madden would soil themselves if Favre was to quarterback the Vikings, I still cannot understand why the Vikings want to sign him. In the wake of what has seemed like the 3297832 day of “FAVRE WATCH 2009”, I have come up with three reasons why this move is a bad decision.

1. Favre single handedly murdered the Jets playoffs hopes last season. Don’t believe me? After helping the Jets beat an undefeated Titans team in week 12 to record a record of 8-3, Brett had a TD/INT ratio of 2-9 in the final five games of the season, which included losses to Denver, San Francisco, Seattle, and Miami. He was about as useful as a poopy-flavored lollypop when it came down to the business part of the season.

2. Until recently, Favre was about as popular as a Spencer from the Hills in Minnesota. I do not understand how the Vikings fans would embrace the most celebrated PACKERS quarterback of all-time. Putting this situation into perspective, Brett playing for the Vikings would be like a national championship coach in the SEC leaving his school and eventually ending up at a rival school inside the division. It is simply unforgivable. EDIT: Oh wait… I advise you to totally disregard that preceding statement. Please make up your own analogy. Sorry Coach Saban!

3. I have purely speculative hard circumstantial evidence that Brett Favre uses PEDs. Think about it, Favre suffered a severe dip in form during his mid-thirties, which is normal for a quarterback, only to have a near MVP season at the age of 37. Football players, like porn stars, are not supposed to be at the top of their profession at the age of 37. Couple that season with the fact that Favre has taken more abuse during his career than a red headed stepchild, you begin to realize that maybe somebody else was friends with Brian McNamee.

Anyways, I sincerely hope that this Brett Favre situation gets resolved soon. I don’t think Madden can handle the stress any longer. Until next time, stay classy…

THURBER